A Poor Joke

Boris (aged9): "eeeerrrrRRR, don't pick your nose and chew it"

Norris (aged 6): "but Mum's always telling me to eat my greens"

MPs troughs, rules and perspective..

Amidst the political fun of the unfolding expenses scandal at Westminster, in which freedom of information has given us the right to peer into their publically-funded world of moats, duck islands and 'adult' movies; has a sense of perspective been lost somewhere? The latest reports are that a handful of MPs will be disciplined for outright breaking of parliamentary rules; while up to 50 will not be seeking re-election, because what they did was within the rules but somewhat embarrassing. Politics is in turmoil, democracy is held up to public ridicule, the first speaker for over three centuries has fallen on his political sword, and parties are maneuvering to rid themselves of candidates whose expenses claims are as bloated as their tax liabilities are minimised.

In one sense, I want to join in the clamour. The filthy swine, have after-all had their noses firmly in the public trough. They have not only advantageously set their own conditions of employment, but have sought (and failed) to have their actions hidden from the public, only being foiled by freedom of information releases pre-empted by The Daily Telegraph. In constructing a system that no citizen would get away with in their workplace, they have demonstrated indeed that some pigs are more equal than others. So, send them all back to their 'very very large' houses that 'look a bit like Balmoral' and lets start parliament all over again with a fresh co-hort.

On the other hand, surely two factors must be weighed against that:

Firstly, how many voters use the system in place to ensure that they pay as little tax as possible and claim the maximum expenses? We might live in another world from the Steen's and Hogg's in the opulence of their mansions and castles; but my guess is every self-employed person in the UK pays an accountant to work this out and signs it off with little eye for detail. I'm not justifying the excess and greed that has been paraded in the daily role call of shame, but I am asking if the fault has been wholly about greedy individuals, or also about a dodgy-system inevitably producing dodgy outcomes?

Secondly though, what troubles me here is that our political system is creaking towards a crisis over a comparatively minor matter - compared to things it has swallowed whole, without straining.

Here is a truly scandalous figure: 92,126 – 100,580 .

The question is, what prefix should these numbers have to contextualise them and so provoke a relevant and proportionate response. Is it a £-sign, referring perhaps to the amount of offensive expenses claims the cabinet have promised to repay? Nope! Is it a Euro-symbol, suggesting a similar fate about to befall our MEPs? Nope! Is it the amount of capital-gains tax avoided by shadow-cabinet ministers, 'flipping' their 'primary residence' to milk the system? Nope - wrong again!

The figure 92,126 - 100,580 rather, refers to civilian deaths which have resulted from the allied invasion of Iraq. It was something for which the majority of MPs still in parliament, and both major parties supported in the face of public opposition. The graph above plots these deaths by year (source). It was morally repugnant, internationally illegal, it used vast amounts of public money in ways the public found unacceptable. But of course, it actually broke no parliamentary rules and wasn't done in secret to be sensationally leaked .... phew! so that's alright then.

er, except that it's not.

One of the most valuable lessons to emerge from the current snouts-in-the-trough scandal is that being within the scope of the written law is an insufficient standard for public service. Acting immorally, or greedily within the code of conduct, is still wrong. Procedural justice is of course an absolute necessity, the process of decision making must be watertight, whether the context is a courtroom or a legislature or a business. But procedural justice cannot be the only criteria to satisfy. Just because correct procedures have been followed, this cannot and must not be a screen behind which to hide flawed decisions, or bad decision-makers. In part, the very procedures themselves can be critiqued in the light of the decisions they generate.

Almost fifty MPs are to go over this expenses scandal, some being disciplined, the whip being withdrawn from others - with many shame-facedly retiring at the next election. This uproar contrasts markedly with the Iraq war debacle, which only resulted in the resignation of Robin Cook, a handful of minor government resignations, and the pathetic on-off resignation will-she-won't-she of Claire Short; who at least seemed to be aware of the impending genocide even if she didn't quite see it as a resigning matter. Oh, and a by-election win for Respect. What a completely bizarre disaprity in outrage!

Yes - standards in public life must improve. Yes - morality must exceed the written code. No - 'I was within the rules' is as unacceptable as 'I was merely following orders'. And yes resignations should follow scandals. But for goodness sake let's get our moral-outrage gauges re-calibrated. If Anthony Steen has hd his mansion subsidised by the taxpayer, he should go. But if he voted for George Bush's illegal war, he should have been removed, long long ago along with all the others in similar positions.

Christians Against Poverty (video clip)

I've had a few converations with people recently about CAP: "Christians Against Poverty". Some asked where they could find more information. CAP have just released this new seven-minute video introducing their work, by telling the story of a family who were guided out of debt, welcomed by the church and eventually found faith themselves - through their work. Video is below, CAP's website address is: http://www.capuk.org/home/index.php

We saw nothing.... it was great!

Glas Tulaichean literally means, "grey-green hillocks", I am reliably informed. Two Saturday's ago, it should perhaps have been named, Great Lump of a Hill, Hidden in Fog and Lashed with Rain. When the suggestion of doing a Munro was made to all the guys on the church men's weekend over twenty of them responded. On the day however, only four foolhardy idiots still thought it was a good idea, given the weather conditions and deteriorating hill-forecast.

Nevertheless, we parked at the Dalmunzie House Hotel (wasting a fiver, but saving about three miles!) and followed the disused railway track up the glen, to a magnificent and completely ruined hunting lodge nestling at the foot of the hill, above a wonderfully powerful mountain river. The climb up to the summit of the hill is navigationally aided, but visually ruined, by the bulldozed track that ascends from the old hunting lodge right along the summit ridge to within a few hundred metres from the trig-point. Allegedly a terrific viewpoint, the only view I could see from here were three wet, cold, gnarled faces peering at me from under hats and waterproof hoods, grimly pondering what dinner might be waiting for us for, back at the Compass Christian Centre.

Trudging back, along the broad summit ridge, it occured to me that despite the elements; safely encompassed within my goretex cocoon - out in the hills was still a wonderful place to be. The Glen See hills, may be blighted by all the unsightly ironmongery of the ski-ing industry, but tucked just behind the likes of the Cairnwell and Carn 'Asda', great expanses on unspoilt upland lie above majestically ice-carved glens. As we dropped back into the glen, we dipped below the cloud level and were rewarded with views down its length, the hills appearing and retreating mysteriously in the mist. Just a great place to be. Back at the Centre we were able to smugly ask how the 'low-level' walkers had fared in our absence, grab showers and destroy a vast acreage of lasagne and salad.

The church men's weekend had many other highlights too. There was some good Bible teaching, from 1Thess2, an interactive Bible study, a quiz-night, a prayer time; and an especially moving communion service in which we all served each other, prior to leaving the centre to go home. Not having the kids at a church thing was a good change for me - usually managing them, organising them, finding their coats, drawings, or just finding them; means that I am so preoccupied that getting to know new people is very hard. The weekend away threw many of us together, around meals, dorms, kettles, up hills and in quiz teams and meant that I had real conversations with some people I have previously shared only the obligatory 'good morning' with. It was well worth going for this itself.

Perth's New Image

The shore road incinerator plan seems to be progressing through the mysteries of the Perth & Kinross Council planning process. It threatens to give the town centre a makeover; giving the 'once fair city' the look and feel of a Soviet Industrial-5year plan.

As such, the city will no doubt require a re-branding and an accompanying logo. I have taken the liberty of assisting the council with this important task, by providing a proportionately appropriate revision of their badge. Above is the new PKC coat of arms, which I think captures the very essence of the town's future in the finest traditions of heraldry.

This Morning's Dilemma

This morning I was the unfortunate recipient of a European Election leaflet from the rather scary BNP. It contained some ludicrous statement about it "not being racist" to hate Johnny foreigner and want to kick him out of 'our' country. If only time-machine technology was further advanced - we could repatriate the BNP to their natural home in around 1870.. . .

Therefore I now have a dilemma and a decision to make about what to do with this A5 piece of noxious nonsense.... bin, shredder or fire? Or some combination of the above maybe?

Book Notes: What's Going On by Mark Steel

A foul-mouthed, revolutionary socialist with no sympathy for Christianity, might not be the most obvious candidate for a place on my bookshelves - but I have to confess to being a fan of Mark Steel. In his new book, "What's Going On?" he is back to the acerbic, witty and polemic humorous best, like he was in his first book, "Reasons to be Cheerful". One of the reasons I enjoy him is that as he views the world from within the Socialist Workers Party, he describes what it looks like to be part of a small misrepresented minority, treated as a laughable irrelevance by anyone who still knows what he actually believes in and wrestles (in a self-deprecating, amusing way) at the doctrinal wranglings of the left........ there are so many parallels with life as a Christian in 21C Britain. The Left, like the church, has a coherent critique of contemporary life, many beliefs which are very popular, a core of very committed believers - but struggles to recruit new adult members and is failing to influence public discourse. The following from page 168:

The young aren't attracted to the Left primarily because socialism appears to them as an archaic belief, but the problem is compounded by these [meetings] that can appear as cliquey as a giant dinner party. Everyone at these events seems despairingly familiar with the etiquette of the group. everyone knows who the speaker is talking about when they mention an obscure Guardian columnist, everyone knows when to clap (like an audience at a classical music concert), which minor government figures to jeer, and no one says '****'. If the Left was attracting a layer of people from outside this group, this etiquette would come under threat. But instead there's a cosiness that makes anyone from outside feel exactly what they are - an intruder.

As anyone who has heard Steel on his various radio and TV shows will be familiar with his talent for the hilarious rant; as he unleashes the wrath of his tongue on targets as deserving and diverse as Bush, Rumsfeld, Haliburton and Dido. His standard 'that would be like' gag in which he lampoons his enemies through the medium of preposterous comparison are in relatively short supply here, also he now seem to be able to mention a 'church' without virtually accusing all Christians of being closet Inquisitionists or Crusaders. (Mark Steel not ranting irrationally at Christians? "That would be like Margaret Thatcher saying that her one aim in retirement was to get re-opening Orgreave Pit under state ownership at the top of the Tory manifesto") - er, you get the idea.

Much of this book concerns Steel's reflections on being in his forties - reflecting on many of the disappointments which have come his way. He reflects on the fortunes of the far-left in politics, and the way in which they have tendencies for moments of great grandeur (like Galloway before the US Senate) but always seem to disintegrate into, comic farce, Celebrity Big Brother or Sheridan's Shenanigans. He charts his disillusionment with the SLP, and his final exit from the party he had immersed himself in since his youth, despairing at its wranglings, feuds and failures. He bemoans the way in which although globalisation and multinationals are now more unpopular than ever - there is no credible alternative movement.

Woven through this comic-tragic tale of mid-life crisis and disappointment, Steel rather movingly describes the end of his marriage. He describes his exile on the sofa, the petty rows, the pain, the growing acrimony, the reconciliations, the children pleading with him not to leave. Its a very, very sad tale indeed. At its worst, Steel rants about her instability, volatility and belligerence. However when the sorry tale nears its conclusion, Steel shows us that when he can stop all that effin effin all the effin time; he can write.

This is a good follow-up to Reasons to Be Cheerful, and much better than It's Not A Runner Bean. A good read for lovers of political satire, although Steel's style is certainly not to everyone's tatse.

Book Notes: Surprised by Hope by Tom Wright

N.T. (Tom) Wright, has written a book with the (ambitious) aim of correcting what he sees as an error in all streams of the 'western' church. In essence, Wright argues that due to the prevailing influence of the greek philosophical tradition (specifically Platonic dualism) the church has lost sight of the New Testament's central theological and historical concern: the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The result of this, he says, is at best a distortion of the meaning of Christian hope and a failure to grasp our responsibilities to this world; and at worst an apologetic for social, ethical and environmental neglect.

Compared to many of Wrights works (such as the densely argued 'Origins' series) this book is a blast, a genuine page-turner which illuminates and surprises with every chapter. Stylistically its only fault is a tendency for repetition of the central theme a little more than was perhaps necessary.

Wright believes that both the liberalism to his left and the fundamentalism to his right have mis-interpreted the resurrection texts of the New Testament's Easter narrative. Fundamentalism he believes has taken a 'flat' reading of 1 Thessalonians to develop 'St' Paul's "we shall meet him in the air" comment into a 'rapture' theology that views salvation in terms of escape from this world. That is to say it sees Christian hope as 'going to heaven when we die'. This, argues Wright misinterprets Paul and does so to replace the genuine biblical hope of resurrection, replacing it with the medieval artists disembodied harp-playing notions of glory. Such views, he insists, are rooted in Platonism and Gnosticism, which make the 'soul' the good-bit that gets saved, and the body the 'bad bit' that is lost with death. In contrast, biblical hope lies in the bodily resurrection of Christ which is the pre-cursor to the physical resurrection of us all. Theological liberalism has made a mirror-image error by lapsing into the same unbiblical categories as this wonky scan from p230 demonstrates:

The end result of this is a crisis in which the hymns, liturgy and preaching of all sides have obscured the central claim of historic Christianity. Fundamentalism's 'soul-only' gospel detaches body from soul and seeks only to save souls and has little concern for bodies or this world which it regards as of no consequence - rather than being loaded with massive resurrection significance. Likewise liberalism, in its denial of the bodily resurrection of Christ, cannot offer the hope of a renewed, resurrected, perfected world-order of justice, hope, peace and the oft-invoked Kingdom of God; because these are the very promises of physical resurrection and renewal of the whole earth. The answer to both these extremes, says Wright - is the rediscovery of the Christian orthodoxy of hope! This he says is historically grounded, theologically coherent and demands holistic mission from the church; challenging those to his right to thoroughly engage in social concern - doing mission in a world that will ultimately renewed; and those on his left to proclaim Christ and the salvation he is bringing to the world and calling people be part of that.

On his central theme - Wright is excellent. Less convincing are some of his excursus into related matters, which are interesting cul-de-sacs which are often well-observed but do sometimes obscure. His view of 'justification by faith' as a temporary expedient until works are done, is perhaps especially unfortunate in this regard (especially as this so strongly militates against genuine hope in a book about hope!), but this is but a footnote in the overall project. Critics from the right will also want to know the basis on which Wright selects which eshcatalogical images to interpret literally, and which metaphorically; in more helpful terms than references to his other works.

Despite these reservations, this is a great read; fascinating, well-argued, thought-provoking and response demanding!

TMC completed again

Last night we got to the end of another Marriage Course in Perth. Once again we ran a 'micro-course' in our house (rather than a large-scale one in a church hall or hotel etc) and as ever used the DVDs for all the 'talky bits', leaving us free to worry about catering and trying to make everyone feel at ease.

I always reach the end of a course with mixed emotions. In some places, the couples who come have dinner together in private, which facilitates time to talk and relax. For logistical reasons that's not possible here, so although we share a meal we all eat together before watching the DVD and splitting up into couples for times of private discussion. That means that over the seven weeks of the course we get to know everyone quite well - and look forward to seeing them all each week and blethering over dinner. In comparison, next Thursday will seem rather dull! On the other hand, reaching the end of the course will mean that we get a rest from all the work of running it! Mrs Hideous has to start work very early on Friday mornings, so part of my contribution to the whole thing is to clear up after the event. While filling the dishwasher in the early hours this morning, while the house slept around me; I experienced this conflict of both looking forward to being asleep and also being really privileged to be able to be a part of this work.

Being involved in the Marriage Course is the end result of something that we experienced many years ago. Some friends of ours were having trouble in their marriage - which we observed from a fairly close distance. At almost exactly the same time, with one young son, and both of us working full-time and being involved with church too; we were aware that while we were not in a crisis, our marriage had elements within it that could have caused problems in the longer term- if not addressed. It was precisely at this time that we went to a Care for the Family day-long marriage seminar, held in our church centre. That day marked a turning point for us in two ways. Firstly a session entitled, "active listening" by a couple called Pete and Barbie Reynolds transformed our ability to communicate (er, actually to be more honest it confronted my almost total inability to listen without interrupting!). Secondly it marked the day on which we changed from the mindset of bumbling along assuming that all would be well because we were in love - to consciously trying to work on our marriage as a labour of love. Our friends subsequently endured a very painful separation and divorce.

Over the following few years we became aware that in 'the church' (broadly, not just our fellowship) we 'do' an awful lot of weddings. We also tend 'do' a huge amount of talking about the value and importance of marriage. Neither of these things is to be decried. What we felt we also needed to be doing was helping support actual marriages, rather than just talking about marriage in general and leaving people to get on with it. When HTB published their 'Marriage Course' we did a test-run to see if it would be worth running in our church. One of the first things we noticed was that the techniques for 'active listening' that we had found so helpful years ago, were included - along with many other helpful things we hadn't considered. We also found the structure of the course really helpful. For instance, we had for more than five years identified that the top need for our relationship was to spend more time together. When we kept this as a general principal we were completely indisciplined about it and we'd end up going weeks or months without ever having time for us. The Marriage Course emphasises weekly 'Marriage Time' as a priority - and booking this well in advance so that it takes precedence over many worthy (but less critical) activities. It was through the structure and discipline of doing the course that we finally seem to have got that right. Ironically, the greatest threat to our 'marriage time' these days seems to be the pressure of hosting the Marriage Course!

Last night we also said farewell to the old Marriage Course DVD set which we have used over the last few years. The authors of the course thought that the old format was looking a bit tired (and we were all fed up with the cheesy theme-music!) and so they have completely re-filmed all the talks - and the new marriage course material should be available soon. We've seen a sample of the material, a 5minute promo - and if the whole course is as good as that it should be even better to use.

The Marriage Course is being run in thousands of venues all over the world. To find a course near you click here: " Find a Course".

Doris at Four

In an almost 'narnian' feat of time-elapse, little Doris has turned four; the intervening years since the above photo was taken, slipping away with a bewildering rapidity. Had she held on another few hours she would have had an 05.05.05 date of birth -she didn't manage to make her birthday that easy to remember, her birthday instead is duly remembered with the lamentable tag, 'May the 4th be with you' (Anglicans may respond 'and also with you'). So while sports fans will remember 04.05.05 as the night on which Liverpool beat Chelsea in the semi-finals of the European Championship (which was showing in the delivery room, I might add), our family remember it as the day upon which our lives were changed forever by the presence of a daughter/sister!

Into our world of trains, footballs and mud a very girlie-girl has appeared. She surrounds herself with hairbrushes, pink shoes, glitter, hair-clips and all such accessories, changes her outfits at least four times a day, raids her Mum's make-up bag, and sings and dances her way around the house. This festival of girliness was never more evident than at her party yesterday in which several of her young friends appeared similarly bedecked in all things pink and shiny, grooved to "Dancing Queen", and decorated princess pictures with pink and red glitter!

Young Doris is convinced that four is very grown-up, and takes this very seriously. If her older brothers attempt to tell her what to do, or to suggest that being older gives them any kind of authority over her, she will resist their control with the resilience of a freedom fighter! Doris and I had a discussion at the weekend about 'who is in charge' in the house. She was not enthusiastic about the plan I had arranged for the day and told me to change it..hence the discussion which concluded with me explaining that she was a little girl and I was her Dad and that meant that I was in charge and organising the day. She sat and thought for a while, put her head to one side and came to a decision which she clearly thought was fair, resonable and well-considered. "OK Daddy", she said, "you can be in charge today...... but only a bit!"

She is also very aware of her own growing-up-ness. A couple of weeks ago she was sitting fiddling with her toes when she noticed one small, solitary, blond leg-hair! Examining it carefully she said, "Look! I'm going to be a Mummy soon!" - although why she so closely associates motherhood with hirsute limbs... I couldn't possibly imagine, or indeed comment if I could.

Happy Birthday little Doris!

Swine Cartoon

This one seems to be doing the rounds on e-mail.... no idea where it comes from!

Almost Making Use of My Life Insurance on Buachaille Etive Beag

Buachaille Etive Beag - South Ridge

It's been almost a decade since Mrs Hideous & I have been out hillwalking together, on our own. Many happy days in the hills with assorted friends and children have been enjoyed in the meantime - but we have missed getting out by ourselves like we used to. This weekend we put this right with a great walk over the Munros and tops of Glen Coe's Buachaille Etive Beag; while my parents entertained Boris, Norris and Doris for a couple of days.

Buachaille Etive Beag, is a mountain which is usually overlooked because of its proximity to its glamorous and oft photographed big brother, Buachaille Etive Mor. Derided as the 'little Buachaille', this mountain always suffers from the obvious comparison, and spoken of in terms of what it lacks. I am convinced however that were it not for its glamorous sibling, (and the pairing of their names) mountain books would rave about this large, bold striking mountain; its graceful lines, stunning views, and elegant peaks set between deep dramatic glens sweeping around its sides. Several years ago I admired this mountain from the top of Buachaille Etive Mor (after a scramble up The Curved Ridge and Crowberry Tower!), and described its beauty to my wife on my return to Perth. She requested that I save 'doing' this hill until she was able to come with me.

After an amazing breakfast at our favourite hotel where we love to go whenever the grandparents want to spoil our kids, we went to Dalness to climb the hill by its steep Southern ridge. A signpost at the roadside points the way up a track which soon forks, with a leftward path heading (via two large gates in the deer-fencing), straight up the centre of the ridge. On paper it is a straightforward ascent. In practice there are two obstacles to overcome. The second is some very steeply-angled and loose scree-fields near the first summit; these took some considerable effort and determination to get across. The first was a fairly innocuous looking stream above a waterfall....... I jumped over the stream and waited for Mrs Hideous to follow suit. She looked at it and hesitated. Then she looked again, and hesitated some more; before deciding that she wasn't going to risk it. She rightly pointed out that while stream itself didn't look too bad, one small slip would send you over a good sized waterfall onto the rocks below. Brimming with the over-confidence of foolishness and the pride awaiting its inevitable fall, I climbed back down the river bank to quickly put an end to such silliness and help the distressed damsel over the stream. As I reached out to help her I was immediately swept over the waterfall, landing a few metres below on the rocks (unscathed) only to be swept down a second set landing with a bump in the river bed below. Thankfully my skeleton, my glasses, my rucksack, my trousers and my hands were all unbroken and all I was required to do was to collect the various shattered pieces of my dignity and climb back up the rocks to my very shocked looking wife. Sopping wet, and with the prospect of some rather moist sandwiches for lunch - I was glad that I didn't have my camera with me which would have been ruined. More importantly we were both amazed, and extremely thankful that I wasn't seriously hurt, given how far I had fallen.

The rest of the day was incident free- and we enjoyed the great weather, grandiose mountain architecture and a great walk out along the path through the Lairig Gartain between the two Buachaille's. The fine drive through Glen Coe, and past Ballachulish was made even sweeter with the prospect of a hot bath and fine meal to come. On 'The Marriage Course' they talk about the importance of couples making time for each other so that they don't lose each other amidst the busyness of life. Small amounts of such weekly 'marriage time' are great; but a weekend away together at least once a year is almost like a refresher course in being 'us'. I am still a bit shocked at how close my greatest contribution to our marriage this weekend could have come in the form of a cheque paying out on my life-insurance though.

Christianity and the Media

Two articles have caught my eye recently, relating to Christian faith. What has surprised me about both of them has been the unlikely combination of author and subject.

In the first one, Matthew Parris writes about the positive and observable effect of Christian faith and Christian mission. His piece in the Times is intriguingly entitled, "As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God" read it here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece

More recently the one-time somewhat sour critic of Christianity, A.N. Wilson (author of the book "Jesus" which attempted to 'de-bunk' the gospels as myth), has described how he has changed his mind, now believes that Christ rose from dead - and what he has observed that has persuaded him. That article is here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1169145/Religion-hatred-Why-longer-cowed-secular-zealots.html

Hazy Arran

From the Larne - Troon Ferry

The Lowry Bridge, Salford Quays

On the road with Boris (3) John Lees' Barclay James Harvest Live at The Lowry

The grand finale of the weekend away that Boris and I had was a gig at Salford's futuristic looking Lowry Centre. Boris and I are both fans of John Lees Barclay James Harvest, whose thoughtful majestic take on British 70s rock encompasses classical, folk, hard-rock and prog elements.

Arriving early we met many other fans of the band, some of whom I have chatted to online, under their various entertaining on-line pseudonyms such as "the umpire's finger", "the poet", "madwoolyfan", and "sparkly flames". Boris surprised a few people who have been BJH fans for three-times the length of his life, with his

astute comments about the relative merits of the bands output; and his hopes for what might be in the evening's set. It was most enjoyable meeting up with all these various characters, and sharing a common enthusiasm. Boris was predictably as high as a kite, not only was this his first gig, but we had second row tickets in a sell-out performance by our favourite band!

On Sunday night, John Lees' Barclay James Harvest delivered a brilliant set of material drawn almost entirely from the bands' classic era. They kicked off with John Lees' passionate anti-war anthem, "For No-One" from 1974 - a song which showcases all the bands trademarks; thoughtful lyrics passionately delivered, layered vocal harmonies, soaring melodic guitar lines all built upon a base of 'Woolly' Wolstenholme's atmospheric Mellotron sounds.

The set included heavier numbers such as Medicine Man, once again played with in the arrangement that made it so popular amongst the bands original fans three decades ago, alongside new arrangements of numbers such as Mockingbird, and classic songs like Child of the Universe. On the more delicate side of the repertoire John's sublime Galadriel was featured as was Woolly's The Poet - as ever the prelude to the show-stopping After the Day. For an encore the band played the epic "She Said", and closed the Easter Sunday show with one of their most Christian influenced songs, the anthemic Hymn; a brilliant singalong to end a brilliant evening.

But there was more... as the crowd was filing out of the auditorium into the bar area, the band came up to say goodnight to everyone leaving. Young Boris was chuffed to be able to sit down and have a blether to the ever affable Woolly Wolstenholme. He told John Lees he'd just got his first guitar and asked him how often he practiced when he was learning. John advised him to play for at least an hour; and had a chat with him about the pain, scabs and trials of the aspiring musician. Young Boris left the place with a huge grin, and an autographed programme.

We had a brilliant evening together - a wonderful conclusion to our weekend away.

Full set-list, photos and fans reviews are on the band's website here: http://www.barclayjamesharvest.com/lowry3.htm

On the road with Boris (2) The Imperial War Museum North

The Imperial War Museum North is housed within an amazing building in Salford Quays, Manchester. Boris and I spent a fascinating hour or so there on Sunday afternoon - but it was not quite what I had expected. As we walked to the entrance we saw an old battered Russian tank, and Boris was immediately attracted to it and asking questions about the range, power, armaments of the vehicle. This was what I had expected to find, and was prepared to follow the visit with a lecture of my own to counteract any jingoism and glorification of war. Part of this was because I had visited the Imperial War Museum in London as a teenager and had thought that the place reeked of "Hurrah for the Army, Hurrah for War, and Thrice Hurrah for dead foreigners".

Thankfully times have changed since that visit. This museum does contain a lot of military hardware, planes, bombs, uniforms, vehicles, technology and the like. These are all labelled and detailed as one would expect in a decent museum. What this museum also has is a series of powerful film presentations which depict all aspects of war. Yes, like museums of old it does contain references to the heroism and comradeship of war - recognising many acts of courage, bravery and sacrifice. However, it absolutely does not do so at the expense of considering the cost, horror, chaos and victims of war. The film clip about nuclear warfare is particularly disturbing in this regard. While it begins with the mechanics of the bomb, its development and delivery, what sticks in my mind are the remarks of the official observers of the Hiroshima blast and their description of the burning bodies of children in the boiling city.

My prepared discussion about the seriousness of the subject and the awfulness of war was scrapped - instead we had a chat about whether young Boris was OK, or if he had found it too disturbing. He was certainly affected by it, which I think is good- but not to the point where he didn't really enjoy going up to the amazing view-point at the top of the museum's tower.

Manchester Ship Canal

On the road with Boris (1)

Young 'Boris' and I are just back from our long-looked-forward-to weekend away together. We packed our stuff, he packed lots of CDs for the long journey and we went South. I drove and navigated while he fed me with his choice of music and a never-ending supply of chocolate that he seemed to have accumulated for the journey. The music choice was excellent, chosen as it was, exclusively from my collection... it might therefore be considered minority interest, but we liked it.

Travelling with Boris (who is 9) is great fun. Having two younger siblings is a wonderful thing, but also limits what he is able to do, it means listening to nursery rhyme CDs in the car sometimes, it means climbing smaller mountains on one hand but also having rivals for time, toys, attention and dominance. We've noticed that both our boys are far better behaved and much more fun, if given a break from each other. So being on the road with Boris is great.

We went down to Poynton in Cheshire and stayed with our old friends The Leese' family. It was good to catch up with them, exploit their hospitality, go to church with them on Easter Sunday morning to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, and go out with them for a good curry - another of young Boris' great loves.

Little Norris has also, of course, been promised a weekend away. His choice of activity I think will involve camping, probably in the Spring.

The Lowry

The Lowry Centre, Salford Quays (of which more another time)

The world's best T-shirt

I am the happy recipient of this present- maybe the best T-shirt, in the world!

Film Notes: Goodbye Lenin!

I haven't enjoyed a film as much as Wolfgang Becker's "Goodbye Lenin!" for a very long time. The story itself hangs around the unlikely premise that an East German communist falls into a coma and misses the fall of the Berlin Wall, the fall of Honecker and the GDR and wakes up in a unifying capitalist Germany. The doctors warn her family that any major shock could kill her - so they set about recreating the old East Germany in her apartment, unleashing an escalating and ludicrous sequence of events in a bid to maintain the pretence, which encompasses friends, neighbours, and colleagues!

The film is brilliant because it works in two ways. The plot is pure farce, and there are many laughs not least when the son Alex sets about producing fake old-style programmes to allow his mother to watch TV. On the other hand, the human emotions, family and relationship dynamics, and serious emotional pull of the acting, is convincing and moving in a way that is wonderfully un-farcical!

In one brilliant scene, the mother rises from her sick bed and staggers out into the streets to be confronted with a helicopter taking away a huge Lenin statue, which flies low past her - his outstretched arm beckoning her from the past, even as he is airlifted away! As the story unfolds, it transpires that several of the characters have also told lies with the best of intentions which have lead to whole swathes of untruths being told to substantiate them. This is all layered on the conflicting emotions the East Germans felt, as liberation was gained on one hand, but humiliation accepted on the other.

This film cleverly welds together personal emotions and big political events so that the 'lying to preserve the system' theme is practised by states and individuals alike; nostalgia for a semi-mythical lost golden age works both in the home and in the post-unification East Berlin as it lost so much employment, industry and its currency. Funny, heart-warming, witty, thoughtful and most unusual - this was two hours of excellent entertainment.

(German with English subtitles, cert 15 - presumably because of some of the language)

Smash!

Boris and Norris are in a little bit of trouble this evening!

Book Notes: Total Church by Tim Chester

I have read many books about ‘the church’, from weighty academic tomes to popular critiques; from apologetics for conservative theology and practice, to emergent and liquid ‘radical’ critiques of both. Several of the most helpful ones have been biblically based and realistically helpful in terms of honing the Christian faith-community’s self-understanding and the practices which flow from it. Of all the books on this subject I have read, ‘Total Church’ is the one that has made me think most. This is not because it is a massively complex or academically dense read; but because it does not satisfy itself with the mere tweaking of the church’s performance; but to systematically challenging many of the assumptions upon which church life has been organised for over a millennia!

Chester and Timmis are advocates and practicioners of ‘household church’; in direct contrast to the institutionalised church, which they see as being an unhealthy diversion – part of the unhappy legacy of Constantine’s domestication of the church as a department of state. So far that sounds like the usual ‘emergent’ critique; but ‘Total Church’ is not so easily categorised. True there is a strong respect for narrative theology running through the book; ‘biblical theology’ is after all a story; but far from an assault on propositional truth – the authors are members of a community which is decidedly ‘word’ centred, and outwardly focussed in intentional mission, especially towards the marginalised. On page 169, they interact with post-modernity like this:

Truth is corrupted by power. The postmodern case is valid. The problem however, is that the postmodern solution does not work. The rejection of truth does not work. Truth is rejected as a tool of power. But disregarding truth simply leaves the field open to power. There is nothing left with which to resist power. There is nothing worth fighting for. The pen may or may not be mightier than the sword. But if you take the pen away, you are simply left with the sword. Postmodern people fear that truth-claims are coercive. But if you take truth away you are left with pure coercion.

The key difference about what they are advocating and the ecclestiastical norm; is that they have no programmes, no buildings, and virtually no budget – but instead everything they do is relational. They do not strive for effective delivery of slick programmes; but for open homes and community living; seeking to show the effect of the gospel of Christ upon their lives, rather than investing in persuasive advertising of well-constructed events. The heart of the vision for which they argue persuasively, is not for the growth of large churches, but the proliferation of tiny ones.

Such a vision is nicely summarised in their looking at Deuteronomy 6:6-7, which says: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” They comment:

We should be teaching one another the Bible as we are out walking, driving the car or washing the dishes. People should learn the truth of justification not only in an exposition of Romans 5, but as they see us resting on Christ’s finished work instead of anxiously trying to justify ourselves. They should understand the nature of Christian hope not only as they listen to a talk on Romans 8, but as they see us groaning in response to suffering as we wait for glory. They should understand the sovereignty of God not only from a sermon series in Isaiah, but as they see us respond to trials with ‘pure joy’. We have found in our context that most learning and training takes place not through programmed teaching or training courses, but unplanned conversations: talking about life, talking about ministry, talking about problems. Let us make a bold statement: truth cannot be taught effectively outside of close relationships…… (p115)

A final quote will help to give a flavour of the vision of the church they have the challenge it is to those of us who inhabit more traditional structures. They argue that too many Christians are burnt out by seeking to run both their lives and deliver programmes - whereas it is more biblical to live the Christian life openly in front of others... and that's the whole programme!

Church without programmes, structures or buildings can make you feel very vulnerable. Leadership in which your life is open can feel scary. But we should embrace this fragility because it forces us to trust God’s sovereign grace. (p193)

This book was a Christmas present. I was expecting to enjoy a pleasantly stimulating read. Instead it has caused a lot of heart-searching, and thinking. Time and time again I found that Chester and Timmis articulated things I instinctively felt. I wish I had read this book years ago when at college, the line which was consistently pushed was that the Reformed doctrine of the word reduced church to being a ‘preaching event’ and so inherently militated against the grander biblical theme of community. This book would have at least exposed that as a false dichotomy. There are so many more sections of this book I could quote; instead I’ll just recommend that you read it, if you care about the life of the church today.

Total Church, by Tim Chester and Steve Timmis, (Leicester: IVP), 2007

Alien?

The evils that lurk in the darkest recesses of the vegetable cupboard...

maybe it's time for a clear-out!

Walk the Line

Walk the Line, is the highly acclaimed Johnny Cash biopic, starring Joaquin Pheonix and Reese Witherspoon, based directly on Cash's autobiography. It's a compelling story, which is very well told, containing an explosive mixture of fame, music, betrayal, breakdown, marriage, unfaithfulness, divorce, passion, and loaded with as many hopeful redemptive themes as it is with moral ambiguities.

Joaquin Pheonix' performance is excellent - enough of a growl for authenticity without allowing it to degenerate into a mere impersonation of this often troubled man. The relationship with his father (Robert Patrick) is well explored, as is the effect of the childhood death of his brother, in the first of many close parallels with that other recent celebrated musical bio, Ray.

Reese Witherspoon is fantastic as June Carter Cash, attractive, charming and with an uncanny ability to deliver the songs in a convincing way too. It's a shame that the script-writers didn't give Witherspoon more to work with in terms of exploring the darker side if her character, the turmoil, remorse and divorces only hinted at, where there was much more to say.

The best part of the story is the tale of how June Carter - with the help of her parents, rescued Cash from a drug-addiction fuelled breakdown which was destroying him and his career. The scene in which they drive drug-dealers away from the house at gun-point while Cash is going through cold-turkey is a great story of the protective nature of love. When Cash emerges 'clean' from the ordeal, Carter tells him, "God's given you another chance" - and takes him to church. The faith element of Cash's life and songs was strangely absent from this however, and there is little mention of the Cash who would go on to record the apocyliptic When The Man Comes Around.

The tragedy of the story is the jettisoning of Cash's first wife, Vivienne, in times of constant touring and his growing obsession with Carter. She is evicted from his life and from the film, but whose tragic desertion lingers in the background muddying the redemptive narrative with awkward complexity. We are asked to see the Cash-Carter relationship as one of true redemptive love, but asked to forget that there was a victim in the narrative too. Was there any hope or joy for Vivienne? We are not simply not told anything more.

The message the film tries to convey is of the redemptive power of true love. Cash, it seems, could only be free from his demons when the object of his infatuation, became committed to him. Pursue the infatuation at all costs, it argues, and become committed to it. Autobiographies are always self-justifying to a degree, and this no doubt colours the message. However, the film still ends up perpetuating the great Hollywood love myth; that feelings lead commitments. The truth so often is that mere states of emotional intensity are no basis upon which to shatter commitments made and forge new ones. The art of furnishing the existing commitments with passionate emotions is a more wise and tested path - and the absolute opposite of the 'Hollywood Love Myth', writ large in Walk The Line.

So this is a really good film, well made, well acted, a fascinating story well-told. It has a strong underlying current of the redemptive power of true love (Cash and Carter were married for 35 years until her death); but told through the tangled relationships and moral ambiguities of a complex man. Well worth watching.

Attic Additions

The attic is starting to look like a pleasant place to sit, think, read or work. (It'll soon be a mess again once I move all thebooks up here though!)

Amazing to think it's not that long since it looked like this:

Meanwhile

More progress on the extension to the church premises.

Gadget of the Week!

One of the dilemmas in moving the study up into the attic was going to be what to do about the broadband line. Virgin wanted £100- to move the cable, regardless of the simplicity of the task. Wireless might have worked, but might have been slow or too pricey and this old house already presents a few obstacles to portable phones which might affect wireless networks too. The perfect solution was provided however by the D3 boys. They handed me a couple of the boxes you see pictured left, and explained that they would run the broadband signal upstairs via the existing electrical circuits in the house! It works too, and seems to be really quick. I'm amazed - I didn't even know that was possible to do - never mind so simple.

It seems our whole house is already networked - and I didn't even realise it!

And now for something completely different..

John 14:15-17, the words of Jesus, set to music by Thomas Tallis:

"If you love me, you will obey my commands. I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth."

Ben Chonzie (no more deceit!)

Irvine Butterfield in his book, "The High Mountains of Britain & Ireland" describes Ben Chonzie as a "dull Munro". Cameron McNeish retorts in his "The Munros", that there are,"no dull Munros, only dull people", which seems unnecessarily harsh. Today I joined Mr Boom (a local typo of some repute) for a walk up this much maligned hill. It turned out to be anything but dull, in fact the views of Lawers, Beinn a Ghlo, The Lomonds in Fife, Vorlich and the Crianlarich hills were dramatic and expansive, and the harsh, icy wind positively bracing!

Today's walk gave me the opportunity to remove a deception from my life which has been something of a weeping sore on the conscience of my Munro chart for too long! Many years ago I attempted this hill with a friend in quite extreme winter conditions, and being somewhat under-equipped were beaten back by the weather...somewhere on the summit ridge. In almost zero visibility we failed to find the summit cairn within the time we had allotted ourselves, and instead tobogganed off the side of the hill on our bivvy-bags! Claiming to have got close enough to the summit for it to count, I duly ticked it off on my Munro-chart. However, I have always felt that this particular 'tick' was fraudulent, and almost mocking me every time I saw it!

Today, this grievous wrong was righted. I actually made the top this time - and realised just how far away from it we had been the last time I was up there. I was a bit shocked at how unfit I have become over the winter, but it was good to be back in the hills. I am however, the numpty who took his camera all the way up, but without a memory card in it!

Kinnoul Sunset II

Under the Bridge

You Need Feet!

Book Notes: Christianity and Social Service in Britain by Frank Prochaska

Frank Prochaska's "Christianity and Social Service in Modern Britain: The Disinherited Spirit" is a well-researched and pretty readable account of the church's once dominating role in social care and its path to being almost completely eclipsed by the state.

The most intriguing parts of the book are those which deal with the details of some of the most important movements in Christian education, home visiting ministries, mothers organisations, and nursing. The detailed account of Mrs Ranyard and her missionary Bible-nurses, who later became just "Ranyard Nurses" and who became state health visitors is a nice little summary of wider movements in secularisation. Similar studies in other fields are also helpful. One aspect I was under-aware of was the number of such organisations that existed throughout the inter-war years but who were finally killed-off by WWII, by migration, call-ups and through the massive bomb damage city-centre mission halls and care-facilities sustained in the blitz.

Less convincing are some of Prochaska's sweeping generalisations, which he uses to bridge between his detailed ground-level research and his over-all conclusions. In one sentence he dismisses Calvinism as a dour creed disinterested in social care. Such a stereotype might suit his purposes but Prochaska seems unaware that just such unresearched assumptions have been shown to be an entirely inaccurate portrayal of this aspect of Victorian city life by Shaw (also Oxford University Press), 2002. Likewise his attempt (p76) to see Thomas Chalmers as a social theorist moving the churches towards a more secular vision of social provision is hardly persuasive to anyone who has ever read Chalmers. The author states up-front that he is not a Christian - and at times this gives the book a sense of dispassionate objectivity, but on other occasions he allows his anti-Christian views to colour his judgement too much. In this regard the opening and closing chapters are perhaps the weakest.

A major omission of the book is any analysis of the movements within the churches which sapped their interest in social questions from the 1890s onwards, especially within evangelicalism which had been in the forefront of such work for over a century; these included dispensationalism, Keswick 'holiness' movements, and the burgeoning Pentecostalism. These factors merit discussion alongside the church's numerical decline and the growth of the state which are well covered.

Nevertheless this is a fascinating study into a neglected aspect of the history of the church in this country.

Boys Day

Over seven years ago, when we only had young Boris, (Norris and Doris were yet to even be considered), we had a child-care crisis. The only resolution we managed to find was that I re-arranged my hours at work (and cut them a bit) leaving me free to cover the missing day in the schedule. 'Boris' immediately named these occasions, "Boys Day" - and even though he was but a toddler we explored all kinds of places. He wasn't quite big enough for mountain-climbing, but we did have a book of all the decent waterfalls in Scotland, huge numbers of which we walked/clambered, to with him on my back in the redoubtable 'MacPac'.

Our 'boys day' jollity was rudely halted however, firstly by the appearance of further offspring and subsequently by the requirements of education. Today however has been boys-day revisited! Young Norris was very disappointed to have missed a school trip to the Glasgow Transport Museum because of a hospital appointment, so today we left little Doris at home with Mum (to do gardening!) and jumped on the train to Glasgow, and following a hasty pizza, took Glasgow's mad little underground train to Kelvinhall.

The Transport Museum is a great place, not only is it stuffed full of beautiful old steam locomotives from Glasgow's past, but it has got an amazing collection of old cars, trams, motorbikes, and model ships - memories of the Clyde's industrial heritage. Most amazingly, access to all of this is completely free, saving a few pennies with which to delight the kids in the inevitable tat-shop at the end of their tour.

Perspective is a strange thing! Looking at a Caley Single-Wheeler (that's a steam engine that's over a century old, by the way) in a museum alongside a Hillman Hunter, Talbot Horizon and a Honda 400 'super dream' exactly like the ones my Dad drove when I was a kid -was interesting. What was equally interesting was the way in which the kids saw little difference between the respective ages of these various antiquarian relics. They have tendencies to view 'the past' as being as uniform a moment in time as 'the present'. The fact that they clearly view me as a lingering irrelevance from this undifferentiated and long-forgotten era is as amusing as it is increasingly accurate.

One quiet corner of the museum has a sobering memorial to all those killed at Lockerbie.

The wife of noble character

Proverbs 31 contains this famous description of the 'wife of noble character'. Commentators have noted that King Lemuel whose oracle this is, was taught about this 'superwoman' by his mother! (31:1) She certainly had high aspirations for her son's bride and no doubt had the potential to be a fairly demanding mother-in-law.

Reading Proverbs 31 again this evening however has amazed me at just how well these famous words from the Old Testament wisdom books actually describe my own wife! Lemuel writes:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Prov 31:10-31)

Proverbs asks me to recognise 6 things about my wife.

Firstly a wife of noble character is to be valued as a rare and precious person. Lemuel writes of such a wife, "who can find?". Well, I have - and yet when I married her in 1996, I had no idea of the extent to which it was the case. She has proved to be 'more precious than rubies' and I have 'full confidence in her'.

Secondly, the text calls me to recognize and honour her industry, business acumen, hard work and career success. Anyone who knows us will know the extent to which these verses describe my wife, who endures much stress, long hours and intense labour but of whom it can be said, "she sees that her trading is profitable" and that none of her family are in need.

Thirdly, the Bible describes her as someone whose money-making abilities are not merely harnessed to the pursuit of self-agrandisement, but who "opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." I am repeatedly humbled by my wife's continual desire to give increasingly significant sums of her very hard-earned salary to others in need, materially and spiritually, from sponsoring children in the developing world, to Water-Aid, to Christian projects to church.

Fourthly the text notes that this 'noble wife' brings 'great honour to her husband'. I am proud to be known as her husband, in all contexts, from her workplace, to the school-gate to church. Lemuel notes that as a result of her nobility, he can 'take his seat at the city gate' which refers to the 'elders' of an ancient near eastern city, in council at the city gates. I have no such power, or position, but I do know that I would not be in a position to help in the leadership of our church, if I had a wife who brought chaos, dishonour or wickedness into our home. She brings me great honour.

Fifthly the texts speaks of her 'wisdom' and the 'faithful instruction on her tongue'. My wife has proved to be a lot wiser than I had anticipated. She is perceptive, sensible and a remarkable judge of character. I tend towards self-defeating pessimism, she is more mentally robust, positive and realistic than I usually am. Yet her wisdom is not only practical, the 'faithful instruction on her tongue' extends to her spiritual life too. She has real faith, and it is a joy to hear the way in which she answers our childrens ever-expanding list of questions about the Bible, Jesus, God, the cross, or prayer.

Sixthly the text warns me that youthful beauty is a passing thing. I hope and pray that I live long with my wife to enjoy the ever-emerging inner beauty of her character. "A woman who fears The Lord is to be praised" it says, and as I write these words she is at the piano playing and singing the praises of God, singing words of adoration and worship to God, filling the atmosphere of our house with the sounds and presence of her saviour. "To Fear The Lord", is Old Testament parlance for acknowledging Him and seeking to live in His ways. This again describes my wife.

I once did a spiritual excercise in which I wrote down all the things with which I had been blessed in life, for which I had never properly thanked God. It was a useful thing to do in that it made me aware of the extent to which I had become acustomed to taking the whole world for granted. In my wife God has given me a most amazing, wonderful gift, 'more precious than rubies' indeed. The text concludes "give her the reward she deserves, let her works give her praise at the city gate". The city gate is of course the open arena of public discourse. I do not have a city gate at which to bring her such honour. I only have a blog.

Kinnoul Hill Sunset

Comet: The Worst Customer Service In The World

A business can create the impression of competence and decency if all they are required to do is to sell boxes of kit with a suitable mark-up for themselves. The measure of a company however, is how they respond when things go wrong, when equipment fails or you have to bring service deficiencies to their attention.

Comet electricals are experts at creating the impression of professional and polite service. If you enter their store with money to spend, you are met with smiling helpful staff and useful advice. Sadly however, when something goes wrong electronically, something also goes radically wrong with the customer service too. The attentive service vanishes, the helpful offering of advice turns to groans and scowls, the open, pleasant staff become resentful, angry and seek not to help, but to deflect.

The problem at Comet is that the customer service system through their entire operation is either deliberately designed to obstruct customer satisfaction or is simply a shambolic quagmire through which it is impossible to wade. The store advises customers to phone the repair centre, who tells to you to phone another repair centre, who tells you to phone the manufacturer who in turn deny all knowledge of the issue and refer you back to the Comet head office, who then say that only the store can settle the issue. Comet's head office insist that only a local store manager can issue refunds, the store insist that only head office can do so. And so it goes on.. and on. There seems to be no-one in the organisation who has the authority to actually deal with issues and get them resolved. There are plenty of people available to read company policies out to customers (especially the bit about 28 days no longer being a legally defined 'reasonable' time to fix a faulty item), and endless call centre charm-school rejects to defend the bureaucratic time -wasting that goes on. There is though no-one but no-one who can give helpful accurate information, let alone issue the refund that trading standards say that we should have. Each person working within this wretched organisation is desperate to deflect the call and get you off the line, because they know that although they are the public face of this company - there is no-one within it who can sort issues out for customers and no incentive for the call centre operative to even try. I asked to be put on hold until someone with the authority to deal with the problem was available. They hung up.

Comet's only response is to say that we should sue them or shop elsewhere. Sadly I can't afford the time or money to do the first, I shall absolutely and certainly be doing the second. If Comet were to have a theme tune, playing on repeat in all their stores, I would suggest that they use, Gerry Rafferty's "take the money and run" - it would seem to rather nicely capture their customer service ethos.

If you shop at Comet you take a huge risk. If you are *lucky* and the product works, no problem. But be warned, once your Visa card has been charged, and the money has left your account and flowed into theirs they have absolutely no interest in providing you with decent, or polite service. They are not bothered if your equipment is lost somewhere in their hopeless system and they will rudely not help you get the issues resolved, and will refuse your legal right to a refund unless you have the wherewithal to sue.

It seems extraordinary that at a time when retailers should be fighting to maintain the loyalty of long-term customers, Comet are actively seeking to drive them away. From now on, I am going to use smaller, local firms whose may not offer such big discounts - but whose pride in their company and basic decency, integrity and competence is worth so very much more.

Comet: don't say I didn't warn you.