What follows is a verbatim record of a conversation between myself (ME), the wife (W), and young Boris (B) aged 6.
ME: Hello wife - I didn't expect to see you this lunchtime, your meeting must have been cancelled. Here, have some of my chips.
W: No. I would rather come in and eat something healthy - and chips are NOT healthy food.
B: Mummy, you said you wanted a healthy lunch, but I can see you taking a penguin biscuit from the treat box. That isn't very healthy food is it, mum? Mum!?... Mum.....!!
B: Daddy, where has Mummy gone?
Shocking.
ReplyDeleteNot only was your generous offer to share your meagre lunch time fare spurned, but She who must be obeyed then flaunts her disregard for both children, loving husband, and presumably several years of health care training, by eating in front of them a high sugar comestible which is both insufficent to sustain & promised only to cause a sugar rush resulting in imbalanced behaviour.
I can imagine the scene now... poor Boris, Noris & Doris cowering in the corner of thier bedroom dreading the sound of the door closing and a heavy foot on the stairs indicating that their mother has yet again come ome late from a nights hard biscuit & sweet eating. Their father does his best to hide from them the horrible addiction, they notice that all of their easter eggs were eaten... but not by them. They see the waste paper bin full to the brim of empty curly wurly packets, the full boxes of kitkats secreted on high cupboards in the kitchen... and how quickly they are depleted. They know, their father knows, only too well, what would happen to them if they ate one of those biscuits.
They hear the kitchen door open... and the noisy chomping as another curly wurly is eaten whole.. perhaps tonight they will be safe... perhaps tonight....