The Curse of Bodger Derek

Bodger Derek is like the wind. We cannot see Bodger Derek, but we can see the effects of Bodger Derek everywhere we look, hence we know of his existence.

Who is the former occupant of this house who has gone through the place like a whirlwind, inflicting hamfisted botched DIY jobs in every room? Step forward Bodger Derek! Let's consider the evidence.

*A patio cleverly designed to channel rainwater through the underfloor vents (a D'Oh rating of 9)

*A patio built too high for the damp proof course to cope with. (a D'Oh rating of 9)

*Botched electrical work (D'Oh 7)

*Botched plastering (D'Oh 6)

*Covering up an inability to edge wallpaper neatly by staplegunning lengths of braid to the borders. (D'Oh 5)

* Filling in the 'air-gap' between the path and the stone wall of the house to create a bridge for damp (see photo of my excavations) (D'Oh 9)

A word of advice. Next time you are buying a house, get your solicitor to search and make sure that it has not inherited the curse of Bodger Derek.