What follows is a verbatim record of a conversation between myself (ME), the wife (W), and young Boris (B) aged 6.
ME: Hello wife - I didn't expect to see you this lunchtime, your meeting must have been cancelled. Here, have some of my chips.
W: No. I would rather come in and eat something healthy - and chips are NOT healthy food.
B: Mummy, you said you wanted a healthy lunch, but I can see you taking a penguin biscuit from the treat box. That isn't very healthy food is it, mum? Mum!?... Mum.....!!
B: Daddy, where has Mummy gone?