The wife of noble character

Proverbs 31 contains this famous description of the 'wife of noble character'. Commentators have noted that King Lemuel whose oracle this is, was taught about this 'superwoman' by his mother! (31:1) She certainly had high aspirations for her son's bride and no doubt had the potential to be a fairly demanding mother-in-law.

Reading Proverbs 31 again this evening however has amazed me at just how well these famous words from the Old Testament wisdom books actually describe my own wife! Lemuel writes:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Prov 31:10-31)

Proverbs asks me to recognise 6 things about my wife.

Firstly a wife of noble character is to be valued as a rare and precious person. Lemuel writes of such a wife, "who can find?". Well, I have - and yet when I married her in 1996, I had no idea of the extent to which it was the case. She has proved to be 'more precious than rubies' and I have 'full confidence in her'.

Secondly, the text calls me to recognize and honour her industry, business acumen, hard work and career success. Anyone who knows us will know the extent to which these verses describe my wife, who endures much stress, long hours and intense labour but of whom it can be said, "she sees that her trading is profitable" and that none of her family are in need.

Thirdly, the Bible describes her as someone whose money-making abilities are not merely harnessed to the pursuit of self-agrandisement, but who "opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." I am repeatedly humbled by my wife's continual desire to give increasingly significant sums of her very hard-earned salary to others in need, materially and spiritually, from sponsoring children in the developing world, to Water-Aid, to Christian projects to church.

Fourthly the text notes that this 'noble wife' brings 'great honour to her husband'. I am proud to be known as her husband, in all contexts, from her workplace, to the school-gate to church. Lemuel notes that as a result of her nobility, he can 'take his seat at the city gate' which refers to the 'elders' of an ancient near eastern city, in council at the city gates. I have no such power, or position, but I do know that I would not be in a position to help in the leadership of our church, if I had a wife who brought chaos, dishonour or wickedness into our home. She brings me great honour.

Fifthly the texts speaks of her 'wisdom' and the 'faithful instruction on her tongue'. My wife has proved to be a lot wiser than I had anticipated. She is perceptive, sensible and a remarkable judge of character. I tend towards self-defeating pessimism, she is more mentally robust, positive and realistic than I usually am. Yet her wisdom is not only practical, the 'faithful instruction on her tongue' extends to her spiritual life too. She has real faith, and it is a joy to hear the way in which she answers our childrens ever-expanding list of questions about the Bible, Jesus, God, the cross, or prayer.

Sixthly the text warns me that youthful beauty is a passing thing. I hope and pray that I live long with my wife to enjoy the ever-emerging inner beauty of her character. "A woman who fears The Lord is to be praised" it says, and as I write these words she is at the piano playing and singing the praises of God, singing words of adoration and worship to God, filling the atmosphere of our house with the sounds and presence of her saviour. "To Fear The Lord", is Old Testament parlance for acknowledging Him and seeking to live in His ways. This again describes my wife.

I once did a spiritual excercise in which I wrote down all the things with which I had been blessed in life, for which I had never properly thanked God. It was a useful thing to do in that it made me aware of the extent to which I had become acustomed to taking the whole world for granted. In my wife God has given me a most amazing, wonderful gift, 'more precious than rubies' indeed. The text concludes "give her the reward she deserves, let her works give her praise at the city gate". The city gate is of course the open arena of public discourse. I do not have a city gate at which to bring her such honour. I only have a blog.