Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A truly loathsome T-shirt: and I the proud owner!

Being married to a Dr. means that I am frequently subjected to that profession's notoriously dark biological sense of humour which inappropriately finds amusement in all things bodily. If the subject be digestive, reproductive, malodorous, embarrassing or just plain appalling - then so much the better.

A while ago I blogged about finding a copy of the delightful "Bristol Stool Form Scale" on the printer at home (click here to view this charming diagnostic aid). Imagine my joy and delight therefore when my wife appeared home tonight from a medical conference with a weird look on her face and the words, "I have a present for you" upon her lips...

What should come out of her bag, but a lovely T-shirt, with nothing less than the legendary Bristol Stool Form Scale itself printed across the back, and the name of a well-known laxative emblazoned on the front! Truly this is most loathsome T-shirt ever to have been printed.

I am, naturally proud to be the owner of such an ultimately lamentable garment, but am trying to imagine a context in which I might wear it. Once every couple of years I have a trip to the hospital to see the Consultant who is treating me for a mild bowel disorder. Next time I am at Perth Royal Infirmary I think that the T-shirt might well have to be worn. But when else? It's not really the sort of thing for trips to Tesco's - I got weird enough looks there last time I wore my "Interpretive Dance" T-shirt; what would happen with this one I can't begin to imagine.

But for those of you who missed it the first time, here's the infamous chart; coming soon to a T-shirt near you!

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