"What in the .....?!" I exclaimed - only to be met with the answer, "I'm doing a clinical presentation at the meeting tomorrow night, I could print these posters off for everyone, and have them laminated." These things, it appears, are very important. It wouldn't be beyond the realms of possibility to see one of these being framed and put up on the wall in some doctor's consulting room (if you want to really educate yourself about such important matters, the picture enlarges if you click on it).
The important thing is to make sure that this particularly vivid educational tool is hidden from the sight of Boris, Norris and Doris - who would not only find it absolutely hilarious, but would insist on an undue level of clinical reporting over the coming months. This is something I can probably do without. One thing is clear however - the kids telling us that they are off for a 'number two' is no longer going to be considered scientifically accurate, after all, it might be a three, four, five, six or seven!
(For this entire post, I ask your apologies.)